All of the stuff - from our "Swell Line" of stuff - is in stock and ready for you to choose from the sea chest.  There
are twelve kinds of stuff (and the clothes come in different sizes and colors).  Once you make your selection,
and send us the required number of doubloons via the secure PayPal online shopping service, we will launch
the stuff to you via the most readily available man-of-war, ship-of-the-line, schooner, sloop, freighter, container
ship, tramp steamer, cruise ship, Mississippi River Barge, paddle wheeler, frigate, galleon, clipper,
windjammer, steamship, submarine, rowboat, raft, dinghy, inner-tube, or rusty tub.  Not to worry, mate.  Most of
the time, you will get your items within seven days of your order.  Our pirates are well trained.  Tickets will not
be shipped.  You must collect them in person in Del Mar.  Ideas for a chest of stuff from Commodore Jim, with
product consultation and assistance with Gil at Casa del Mar.


Washington State residents must add 8.60% sales tax for merchandise purchases.  Sorry - their rules, not
mine.  Opening Day and Closing Day tickets will not be taxed.

Here is a cool feature with our online store (when it becomes fully operational): Once you place your order, you
will immediately be sent a confirmation email letting you know that your order was received.  When your
merchandise is shipped, you will receive another email that provides you with a "tracking number."  You will not
be required to do that "cut and paste" stuff.  That number, when you click it, will automatically connect you to the
shipping service website (i.e., Fed Ex, UPS, USPS, etc.), and allow you to see where your "stuff" is in the
delivery process.  One click, bubba.  

All items come with a Del Mar Yacht Club logo.  What is the meaning of the Del Mar Yacht Club logo?  Click to
the "home page" so that you can see the logo.  It is right there, at the very top.  See them flags?  Then click here
and scroll way down to the bottom to discover the cosmic answer to our logo design. The two flags, when
combined, send a message.  Surfer's simple explanation: The "C" flag means affirmative (i.e., yes - or "that's a
charlie").  The "N" flag means negative (i.e., no).  When they are used simultaneously, that means that there
must be some confusion on board, because one person is signaling "yes", while the other person is signaling
"no."  An observer will then naturally think: wait a minute, these folks have their signals crossed, therefore, they
must be in distress.

Now: Is the Del Mar Yacht Club in distress?  Of course not!!!  We are just having a good time with a fun logo.  
And: every one of the Del Mar Yacht Club Commodores have been seen displaying just about every flag -
depending on the time of day, time of year, and weather conditions.  And they were ashore.
Del Mar Yacht Club
Del Mar Yacht Club Stuff
The Del Mar Yacht Club Treasure Chest     
Click here to make your Opening Day / Closing Day purchase from the Shopping Cart:
Flash note: Now for entertainment purposes only, since the DMYC has finally established a method
for you to order products online.  It is funny now, but it was extremely frustrating when it was happening,
Commodore Jim says.  But this is the way it happened in May, 2008.  No kidding.  Here is the story:
Commodore Jim was having one heck of a time getting an "Internet shopping cart / e-commerce company"
to perform a simple task of allowing you to make a purchase choice via what is known as an online
"shopping cart."  Thousands of companies have online shopping carts for their customers to use, and those
carts were created  by shopping cart design companies.  But most of the "design" companies that
Commodore Jim talked to did not seem to have a clue as to what he was talking about (i.e., create a
shopping cart for the Del Mar Yacht Club right away.  He does not want to do it.  He wants the specialists to
do it.  He will give you a list of the products and the prices and pictures of the products - but you design it,
and do it right away.  He will even pay you to do it.  Simple.).  But it was like pushing on a rope.  He was on
the phone every day (8 hours each)  for three weeks attempting to get a simple task accomplished right
away. Operative concepts: 1. Right away; and 2. You create it.  But, for some reason, those two dots could
not get connected.  And just about every company that he called started off with the standard "finger
punching exercise" that goes something like this (and this applies to most companies today, unfortunately,
even if you already have an account with them): First, you must press "1" for English. Then, you must
carefully listen to our menu options...as they have recently changed.  Next, you get the "Your call may be
monitored or recorded for quality control or training purposes" message (Jim thinks - whoa bubba - I don't
need quality control or training).  Just answer the phone.  Right after that, you have to decide which of the
"options" that are "offered" is most applicable.  None of them ever seem to be quite right.  Then, you must
punch in your 18,129 digit account number - without mistake (and at the speed of light, and within 3
seconds- otherwise you get penalized and must start over).  Answer the phone.  Then you are put "on
hold" for one hour, without ever speaking to anyone.  You get to listen to "elevator music" or an endless
loop of annoying announcements for the entire time, interspersed with "you are currently caller number
three.  Your call is very important to us.  We know how valuable your time is, and we appreciate your
business.  Please hold for the next available assistant", followed by "Your estimated 'hold time' is less than
15 minutes."  Answer the phone.  (Free clue here to cosmic / future / wizard CEO's: If your "call volume" is
higher than expected, then hire more assistants so that the telephone calls can be immediately answered).  
Rule Number One of customer service and happy customers is: Do not frustrate your customers by trying to
"save money" by reducing the number of your sales / support personnel.  You cannot "save money" unless
you "get money", and you are not going to "get money" if you do not answer the phone.  Your customers /
potential customers will drop you faster than a hot potato, and move on to someone else if you are not
smart enough to get your act together and hire enough people to answer the phone.  Got that?  Business
101.  My hair is on fire, you knucklehead.  Answer the phone!  Clowns at Delta Air Lines (President
Bastian), Yahoo Small Business, and PayPal - pay attention.  Pull your head out.  Answer the phone

During this laughable...er, frustrating...experience of being "placed on hold", the caller thinks..."wait a
minute...I did not call a restaurant to place a take-out order.  Why am I listening to your "menu" options?  
And why, if the call is eventually connected, am I speaking to somebody from Bombay or Manila?  Why
can't I speak with someone in the same time zone? And why don't you simply answer the phone?"  Of
course, in the interest of "saving money", most of these ladies / gentlemen that are working from overseas
are working "from home" (bless their hearts), and do not have access to the information that the caller is
seeking due to the cosmic computer "secret codes / passwords" that they are not allowed to input into their
computer (either because the "system is down", or "that information is on a different screen, and I don't
have access to it", or "that information must be authorized by a supervisor."  That means another 15 minute
wait, because that request has to be blasted back to the U.S. via the Internet for authorization / approval.
(Uh, why did I just not "get there" in the first place, instead of having my time wasted because my voice was
being routed to Rangoon via Mugabe in Zimbabwe?  Answer: CEO "executive" decision to "save money").
Good going, wizard CEO.  Larry, Moe, Curly - were you the consultants to this twit?  Did he pay you for it?  

Then, if someone finally does answer, they either: (a) drop the phone on the floor or push the wrong button
(presumably in their haste to answer the call - as if they are just at that moment being notified of it and are in
a hurry to assist you), in which case the call is disconnected and you get to start all over; or (b) You finally
are able to speak with a live individual, but alas, their reply is: Oh, the person that you need to speak with is
not available.  Would you like their voice mail?  Answer - No, I want their voice on the line, front and center;
or get me another slime-bag that can answer my questions and deliver products and service; (c) You must
"verify" your identity.  (OK - this is my name, this is my telephone number, and this is my mailing address.
No, I will not give you the last four digits of my credit card number for the account - because I have dozens
of cards and thousands of accounts, and I don't have the cosmic spreadsheet in front of me at his moment
that lists those accounts and billing information.  And I can't give you my user name or password because I
don't have access to it - that is why I am calling.  Ask me one of your "secret code" questions that you
required me to provide when I established my account with your company, you clueless dim-bulb).  Sound
familiar?  And don't forget this one: please take a few moments for a brief survey to let us know how we are
doing.  Of course, you must "press 5" to do that.  (Callers can easily do that one by voice if you would just
answer the phone.  But no, it cannot be done).  The caller is "allowed" to participate (like, oh boy, I'm
going to win a prize), but the caller must then get into another "finger punching exercise" routine to select
from options that the company provides, and none of which apply.  Answer the phone.

Another funny observation: If you call the company for assistance, then you get to speak to someone
(maybe...and perhaps eventually at best) who is located overseas.  But, if the company calls you about a
question concerning your account, a person from the United States (and in your same time zone) magically
makes the telephone call to you immediately and insists that they speak with you right away. And they do
not speak in broken English.  Huh?  Way to go, boy wonder wizard CEO.

Here is another cosmic clue, CEO wizard: If you are not smart enough to allow your customers an easy way
to contact your company quickly via telephone, then provide them with a simple and noticeably visible email
option for contact.  Do not construct it in the fashion of a Sherlock Holmes Mystery Adventure.  They click,
then insert (1) Their name; (2) Their email address; (3) Their telephone number (if they so choose); and (4)
A brief description of their inquiry.  Click and point.  No mailing addresses.  No cosmic login names or
passwords should be required to be created.  They are not buying your company.  They just have a
question (which they should not have to even ask, you twit, if your website was designed properly).  Allow
them to simply ask their question.  And then do this (now this is really a tough one, so hang in there): reply
to them immediately.  Astonishing.  Simply amazing!  Incredible.  Why didn't I think of that?
.
Commodore Jim says that once the Del Mar Yacht Club merchandise shopping cart gets fully operational,
if you need to make a telephone call to the Del Mar Yacht Club to get a question answered, someone will
answer.  You should not need to call, because the "shopping cart" will be self-explanatory.  But, if you
decide that you need to call, then a real live person will answer the phone, they will say "hello", they will
identify themselves, they will speak clearly, and then they will immediately assist you.  And if they don't, then
you tell me - and I will get out there right away and find out why - and make sure it never happens again.  
You will not be doing that "menu stuff" or listening to music. The Del Mar Yacht Club is one organization that
does not abide by the rule of "you must beg and grovel" in order for us to take your money.  You must
plead; and then, if we happen to have some spare time (between lunch breaks, coffee breaks, personal
telephone calls, and Internet games and chat rooms that we are occupying ourselves with), we may
answer the phone so that we can answer your question or deliver the product to you that you have
purchased or desire to purchase...but it will not be done by the promised date...because the task is simply
way, way too difficult to accomplish under the rules that we deliberately designed to benefit us, not you.  
Answer the phone.  No time delay.  No "wait on hold."  Simple.
Click here to learn how to Talk Like a Pirate.